You’re not broken

Yes, I can help you. No, I can’t fix you. For two reasons. First, you’re not broken. You’re a resourceful, creative, whole person who fundamentally knows what’s best for you. And second, “fixing” suggests a permanent state of rightness. As good as that sounds, it’s not a desirable condition.

I remember an exercise we did in coaching school. We were supposed to envision a world that we had complete control over creating. What would it look like? My immediate instinct was to create a world without suffering. But then I had a second thought.

You see, we’re supposed to be chased out of our comfort zones. Outside of our comfort zones – it’s where we learn and grow. It’s often painful and sometimes downright awful, but if we stay in the safe, unchallenging space of the quiet life we miss out on the skills we gain when we’re challenged. To stay where we are is to be a prisoner of what we already know.

We can’t spend all of our time out there, though. If we do, we burn up. We need quiet time to heal and assimilate. Being out of our comfort zone is a lot of work and leaves a lot of scars. We require time to reflect and think about what our new skills mean to us. Too much quiet time, though, and we stagnate…no matter how comfortable and safe we are.

So we need to move from comfort to hindrance and back. It should happen in little ways all through the day, maybe in big ways for months at a time during a cycle of discomfort. As we feel the comfort zone slipping away, instead of panicking, a better response is to wonder what new skills we are about to add to life.

So what is my perfect world like? One where we can all learn our life skills with as little strife as possible. One where we can see the positive side of our struggles early along the path. One where we can be excited about the learning in the face of the difficulty.

What’s your perfect world? How can you get closer to that world, or learn and enjoy more the one you are in? Contact me for a free trial coaching session.